When online dating first came in, many men saw it as the answer to their dreams. Before, if you wanted to join a dating agency, you had to spend hours writing letter after letter to answer women’s ads. Now you can just log on, upload your profile and photo once, and write a couple lines to every woman who is registered, asking her to check out your profile, and you’re done.
There are millions of women registered with hundreds or even thousands of online dating agencies. There are always more women than men, and the proportion of women increases with age. So as a man, you would think all you have to do is get your profile up there and you will have millions of women fighting for you. Right? Well, maybe not …
If you put your profile up and sit back and wait, you will probably get some interest. Sure. You will receive emails from women who like the look of you. And you will probably think that you can find success with a lot of women without working too hard.
But after a little while, things may not be going so well. Progress is not as fast as you hoped. The ladies who approached you do not seem to be following through. Most of them won’t even agree to meet you. Hey, they started it, right? Why are they suddenly pulling away?
The fact is, that women do not see themselves as committing to anything when they write you online. For a guy, when he says ‘I’m available’, that’s what he means. But for a woman, being available doesn’t mean they stop being picky.
At this point a lot of guys make some big mistakes.
Don’t push for a meeting if she is saying no. No means no – or anyways, not yet. Say OK and then just keep the dialogue open. If she doesn’t want to meet you, that means you have not yet won her trust. You probably just need to keep talking.
Don’t accuse her of being afraid to meet you. She will not see that as a dare and suddenly agree. Women’s minds do not work like that. If you tell her she is afraid to meet you she will probably think ‘Yes I am’ and change her phone number.
Looking for an ideal
If you have an ideal lady in your mind, you will probably not find her. A lot of guys have fantasies about women who look or act a certain way. Your ideal lady probably does not exist, or if she does, she will not look exactly like you imagine. If you hold onto ideals, then 99.9% of women will not fit. Be open to the unexpected, and you will have a lot more success.
- Lying and exaggerating
There is simply no point. If you lie about how much you earn, how many times you have been married, or anything like that, she will probably find out eventually and even if she does not, the fact that you know you have lied will affect your relationship.
If there is something you prefer not to tell, then avoid the subject at first. Later, when you have built up trust and can tell her in a confidential way, a woman will accept most that you have to tell … provided you did not lie about it.